Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Whirlwind...

Dear Friends,
The last three weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions and ups and downs. God has been faithful and we are praising him for all the work he has done in our lives.

I would like to ask prayer for two things that have come to pass just yesterday. My dad who raised me, Roger, had surgery on his carotid artery yesterday and needs prayer to keep his blood pressure under control. He goes home today if his vital signs are good. They don’t like the pressure to be up, because it could burst the artery. Praise the Lord that the surgery went well, and no strokes occurred as far as we know. Pray that he will recover quickly and for his overall health. The surgery is a big one so to speak and will go back next month to have another one.

Also my biological dad, Richard, call last night with news of his reoccurring cancer. The Dr. said he had end stage cancer and only has 6 months to live. My dad and step mom live here in AZ, but are planning to move to CA, where Helga will be close to her family. They are treating my dad with an aggressive chemo. But I guess they don’t expect it to work. I have asked my dad bluntly if he knows Jesus, and that He was the only way to heaven, and he certainly agrees. I am praying that he really does, but only Jesus knows, will you join me? I am praying for spiritual healing for both and of course physical healing as well. Also, Helga’s first husband died and I know she is uncertain and scared for what the future holds.

Finally, not that this is about me in any way, but I need prayer. It is hard being the only child when these things take place. There are more siblings, but none come or call to share in the grief and caretaking process. I sat in the hospital alone yesterday and thought to myself, “I don’t think I am going to do this alone next time, it is too much to bear.” I know that I have Jesus, and am not alone and for that I am grateful because without Him I would have never made it this far. However, I think that after caring for my mom for so long, I have post traumatic stress syndrome or something. It awakens something in me that wants to panic, I have it under control but the minute I leave the room, I break. Thankfully my friend Zona assumed that I may be overwhelmed and came and sat with me.
Last night when my other dad called with his news, I was fine almost unemotional and then I lost it completely. All of my parents are either gone, going, or need care. I am so thankful we have eternity to look forward to. I have been learning that none of this hear matters, only what is to come, so I hold fast to that. I just don’t want to do it alone as ridiculous as that sounds. I would love a sister or brother to share the grief with me. It seems that if we both would experience the same thing it would make things easier, it is probably not true. We have had one attack after another for weeks now, will you stand with me in prayer against the enemy? I know that Jesus is the victor and He has already conquered!

Okay, I am just being completely transparent with you my friends. I feel like we need to be that way occasionally so that we really know each other’s needs. For now I am strong, later I may be weak, this is just the way it goes for all of us.

Thank you for being friends, I can truly confide in. You are all so special to my heart.

3 comments:

Susan said...

Yes you will be in my prayers. we do wlak through valleys that we feel we cannot get through but you are so right you have Jesus with you. I feel your pain right now I have not lost my parents but when ou said you are losing all of them it cut me right to the bone. You have more strength than you know. Let the good Lord carry you through this time that's what his yoke is for.
Blessings, Susan

Christy. said...

Hi,

Thanks for your comment on my blog this morning! Congratulations on your referral, I hope your kiddos come home soon! Yeah, I think court opens this week!

We are in the WAIT and it is so hard! We have been waiting 4 1/2 months, we started the process 9 1/2 months ago. When we started they thought our referral could come quickly and now it isn't. I know that there are just a couple families ahead of us and possibly one or no families ahead of us asking for over 2 years old. I keep thinking that this might be our week, but then I don't want to get my hopes up and have them let down...

Praying for you this week!

praisinyahweh said...

My dear friend ... my prayers are for you as you move through this time in your life. I hope that the retreat helped this weekend.

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